Before I Fell Read online

  I pinched the bridge of my nose, wondering if I could tap my heels together three times and wake up at home.

  “So you escaped from Hell and decided to, I don’t know, rendezvous amongst the living? That’s…odd.”

  “First of all, it’s not Hell, it’s the Underworld. Big difference. Tartarus was where I was headed before I, eh, hid,” Grandma said, refusing to meet my gaze.

  I’m not surprised. By any of it.

  “You couldn’t force her to go? Pick her up and toss her butt on a boat?”

  “Once she decided she didn’t want to move on, it was a permanent decision. That’s what I get for allowing my brother to give mortals free will,” he said. He homed in on me again, like a dog to a bone. “But you don’t seem surprised by any of this. In fact, you’re taking the information better than ninety-nine percent of the population. Why?”

  “I read a lot. Also, I’m a little Pagan-leaning. I mean, don’t get me wrong. I’ve had my flirtation with the church and the dark side in about equal measures, but I’m what you would consider spiritually-open-minded, and why are you looking at me like that?” I stopped when I noticed him watching me, like someone who just solved a particularly difficult riddle.

  “The experiences you’ve had in the past made you who you are today, including the one at the beach.”

  I huffed out a startled breath as he smiled.

  “H-how did you know about that?”

  I hadn’t, in recent memory, told anyone about the day I almost died, including Grandma. It was too personal, too strange to mention, and was the moment my gifts first appeared. Then there was the issue that no one would believe me, even if I opened myself up about it. After all, I didn’t see religious figures, didn’t see family or friends and didn’t see choirs of angels greeting me. No one witnessed my almost-death unless you count my friend, Katie, who was with me when that stupid sneaker wave took me down and under, and she doesn’t remember the event…at all. I know because I must’ve asked about six times.

  “God of death, remember? You’ve touched the other side and it left a mark on you, one that you can’t get rid of by simply willing it away.”

  “I can try.”

  “No, you can’t, because it’ll eat you up inside. Trust me.” He seemed lost in thought a minute, shifting from foot to foot. “I need to take your grandmother’s soul with me back to the Underworld, but this discussion isn’t over.”

  “Yay…”

  I felt a tension headache forming between my eyes as Grandma grimaced at my sarcastic tone, joining Hades on the sidewalk.

  “Your granddaughter is a piece of work.”

  “She gets it from her mother’s side.”

  “I can still hear you!” I shouted. Hades lifted one hand in farewell and I stomped back to my book, muttering curses to myself the entire way.

  Chapter Two

  “You need to come out with us tonight,” Barb said.

  I groaned and shook my head, placing a couple of bottles of wine in my cart.

  “That’s not a good idea and you know why.”

  She side-eyed me, leafing through a magazine. “Emma, you can see spirits. Do you realize how rare a find that is in a ghost hunting group? We could be bigger than TAPS!”

  I rolled my eyes as I approached the checkout line.

  “First of all, can you keep your voice down? I don’t want everyone in here to think I’m bat-shit insane. Secondly, I never wanted these gifts because most of the time, they’re a pain in the butt. And lastly,” I added as she opened her mouth to protest, “I’m not a big fan of every dead person in that cemetery making a move on me. I have a gift, sure, it’s also scary as all shit. There’s a reason I don’t walk alone at night anymore, and why I haven’t been with you on a single investigation, despite your nagging.”

  “One hour, that’s all I’m asking for, and afterward you can go home and watch as many Originals re-runs as you want to.”

  I loaded the belt with food, punching in my payment information as I pursed my lips together into a thin line and tried my best not to show her how freaked out I was by the thought of willingly romping through a place I knew was jammed-packed with souls, who would like nothing more than to overwhelm me to the point of breaking down and crying like I did one night near downtown, or withdrawing into myself and blocking everything out like I’d been trying to do for the past four years.

  The problem was that friends were in short supply lately thanks to reclusive behavior on my part and a nosy Grandma who popped in whenever she felt like it. Barb may not be the best friend a girl could have, but she at least pretended to care.

  “Fine, but one hour only,” I said as she beamed in delight. “You’re obnoxious.”

  “You love me, just admit it. We’re all meeting at Jakes’ around nine to go over rules and protocol for the newbies, so if you get there first, please order me a big stack of pancakes, k? I’m stealing your Wheat Thins,” she said, grabbing the box from the belt as the checker looked from her to me and back again.

  “She’s not-she was kidding,” I said, giving her a thin-lipped smile as I tried to wrench the box from Barb’s hands. She tore the top off, plunging her hand into the bag. “You owe me four dollars.”

  “Technically, she owes you eight,” the checker said. She pointed to the half-hidden sleeve of donuts sticking out of Barb’s pocket. I groaned aloud.

  “Dammit, Barb!”

  I parked my car along the curb, idling for a minute as I stared out across the cemetery grounds. My recorder lay on the passenger seat along with a Maglite, hoodie, and waterproof jacket. I sighed, not at all liking my odds of coming out of tonight unscathed. I’d built walls around myself for the past four years, afraid what would make it through if I didn’t, and I wasn’t exactly excited about letting it slip, but if it only happened once, and if Barb didn’t ask me to come out like this ever again, there was a chance they wouldn’t notice.

  You’re like a beacon, Grandma once told me. We’re all drawn to you because you’re you-because you’re sympathetic, empathetic, and kind. I wouldn’t stick around for your brother, but you? You’re my little sunshine.

  The others hadn’t arrived yet. I was half-tempted to tell Barb that something had come up last minute but knew that she would see straight through the lie and convince me that I was crazy, or a scaredy-cat, which wasn’t a stretch of the imagination. I was because they could hurt me, and there wouldn’t be anyone around who could help me.

  If you really believe that, though you’re as powerless as they want you to feel, and you won’t be able to separate the good ones from the bad eggs. That could be bad…very bad.

  I squared my shoulders and stepped out into the street, slamming the car door behind me, the sound bouncing off nearby gravestones. I felt a presence, one more powerful than your typical cemetery-variety soul and clutched my phone so hard I thought I might break it.

  “You’re not allowed to take my energy and if you try, I’m leaving and never coming back,” I said, voice breaking.

  Laughter wrapped around me, propelling me towards the entrance to the grounds.

  “Step inside, Emma. What are you waiting for? We’ll take care of you, we promise.”

  The voice, both male and female combined, caressed my body like a lover’s embrace as I stared through the dark cemetery, heart racing.

  “I need to wait for my friends. They’ll be here soon.”

  I tugged against the invisible hands that reached out, grabbing my arms and shoulders, but they held on tight.

  “Just join us for a moment. What do you have to lose?”

  My foot touched the grass, and I gasped. Hundreds of souls danced around me, twirling and swirling their way through pillars and around towering fir trees, and I jumped when one of them flitted her way to me, running her hands through my hair.

  So many souls in one place, but why?

  “I don’t understand. Why are you all so happy?” I asked, confused. I’d always been able to se
e and communicate with spirits, but this many in one place set my teeth on edge.

  She leveled her dark gaze with mine, blonde hair rippling in a non-existent breeze.

  “Because he’s coming to see you for himself, and that means we get to play.”

  “Who are you talking about and why would he-”

  “Emma.”

  A masculine voice cut through the air, crackling with an undeniable power as I shivered and tugged my sweater closer. The girl smiled, fading into the night and I glanced around, trying to find the source of the new voice. Why did it sound so familiar?

  “You shouldn’t be here.”

  I bristled at the commanding, authoritative tone, crossing my arms over my chest in what I hoped was an intimidating stance. “Yeah, well, I’m sick of people telling me what to do so, go away,” I called out, and heard the mocking laughter.

  “I told you we weren’t done with our conversation.”

  Perfect…just perfect. What the hell was he doing here?

  “I don’t care, because I don’t have anything else to say to you.”

  Hades detached himself from the utility shed, walking towards me with panther-like grace, hands tucked into his pockets.

  “How about ‘I’m sorry that I came out here at night and all alone to a cemetery crawling with souls’?”

  “Are you actually concerned for me? That’s so…sweet. Now, leave.”

  Around him, I felt small-insignificant, even, and though every part of me sent up a red flag about tempting a god, I wasn’t going to let him push me around. Not tonight.

  “You don’t know what you’re doing, Emma. Not yet, anyway, and if you’re not careful, the souls will overwhelm you.”

  I whirled around, stepping so close to him that I could smell his aftershave-like a honey-dipped cinnamon stick-as he raised an eyebrow in warning.

  “I don’t want to be here, okay? If I hadn’t promised my friend that I would meet her and her crazy group of ghost hunters, I’d never step foot in this place.”

  “Ghost hunters?”

  “What use would they be? They can’t see us, not like she can!”

  “Run for it!”

  The souls dispersed-vanishing from sight-and I sighed, hand on hip.

  Hades watched me, moonlight illuminating his hair. “Your friend doesn’t have your best interests at heart.”

  “And you do?” I took a deep, calming breath. “Look, I know how toxic she is, but she’s the only friend I’ve got, so for now, I’ll put up with it.”

  “You base your friendship with her off a need to be wanted, even if it means that she uses and abuses you in return.”

  “What’s your point?”

  I didn’t like him picking my life apart-it felt too raw and personal for someone I just met.

  Plus, it killed me that he was right.

  “It doesn’t seem fair,” he said, eyes narrowed.

  I turned when I saw headlights bouncing off the gravestones, throwing wicked-looking shadows over Hades’ face.

  “You need to go now.”

  “We’re not done with-”

  “I don’t care. If you stay, Barb will see you talking to me, and I’ll never be able to explain how I know you, or why you just disappeared into thin air, which you should most definitely do, right now.”

  He muttered something unintelligible under his breath as I pushed and pulled him towards the utility shed, clicking my Maglite off before shoving it into the front pocket of my sweatshirt. I was going to make up a story to placate the group-tell them that I hadn’t seen anything yet and probably wouldn’t. In other words, I was going to lie to them, and it made my heart pound straight through my chest.

  Hades blended in with the shadows again and I straightened, tucking a few pieces of hair into place as I walked as calmly as I could towards the street, waving at the team members who piled out, grabbing equipment. Barb caught up with me first, and I shook my head as her face fell, a dejected light flashing across her features.

  “Not even a baby one?”

  “It’s incredibly creepy, and a little Shining-esque that you actually look forward to the prospect of ghost children in the first place,” I said. “But I haven’t seen anything of interest since I got here. Sorry. It’s good practice for the newbies though if you wanted to teach them how to use the EVP, thermal and motion detectors.”

  I moved to brush past her and her hand shot out, wrapping around my upper arm.

  “Wait, where are you going?”

  “This isn’t really my thing, Barb. Plus, I’ve already been out here by myself for a while, so I’m just ready to go home.”

  “You gave me one hour, Emma. One. That starts now.”

  “But we won’t see anything, so what’s the po-”

  “Uh, guys? There’s this thing behind you,” Sean said, pointing at something behind me.

  I whirled around as Barb brandished her recorder in front of her like a weapon.

  A black shadow mass walked up the path, gravel crunching beneath his heavy boots, and Michelle screamed once, fainting to the ground as Sean and Kayla bent over to help.

  I glared at the figure, knowing who it was and hating him for it all at the same time. I was so ready to be done-so tired of the games and started walking across the grounds towards my car.

  I heard Barb say my name, but I didn’t stop, not even when spirits materialized at the edge of the cemetery, forming a wall to barricade me in. They were nothing more than wisps of energy and I shoved my way through, feeling a sick, slimy sensation chase its way through my gut. It was like walking through a plasma ball with weights tied around my ankles and I shuddered, tossing my things into the vehicle as I crossed to the driver’s side.

  The team still stood right where they’d been moments before, watching Hades float through the night, and I started the engine, peeling away from the curb. There was nothing for it-they’d have their fun and then leave, but I might have to turn off my cell phone later. I knew Barb would be anxious to bombard me with questions the minute she could, but I wasn’t ready to explain this-any of it-to her just yet.

  “Well, I hope you’re happy.”

  I screeched and slammed on the brakes, maneuvering the car to the side of the road again as Hades materialized in my backseat, scowling.

  “Your friend managed to get some blurry, insubstantial pictures before I poofed out of existence, so you’re welcome.”

  “I never asked you to do that.”

  “At least now you can say that you ran away in fear.”

  I sighed. “Why are you still around? There’s nothing else I need-or want-to say to you.”

  His face darkened. “You need to learn to appreciate and utilize your gifts, and I can help you do it.”

  “What do you want in return?”

  “Drive.”

  I pulled back out into oncoming traffic, adjusting my rearview mirror so I could see his face.

  His cold, calculated, pissed-off face.

  “So, what do you want?”

  “You told a soul last night to do something anatomically impossible as you banished him from your apartment. Do you remember that?”

  “He was rude-and pushy-and I was taking a shower.”

  “Not only did I have to clean up your mess, but your refusal to help him created a soul-free force field around your entire building.”

  “Awesome.”

  Maybe now, I’ll have some peace and quiet.

  “No, not awesome-terrifying. Do you know what would’ve happened to him had I not found him in time?”

  “I’m guessing he would’ve continued to be a complete pain in the ass?”

  “This isn’t funny,” he growled, and the smile faded on my lips. “Like a death deity, souls are attracted to you, but if you continue to ignore them, they could easily turn into Furies. Do you know what those are?”

  I shook my head, eyes wide.

  “They’re vengeful, skeletal beings who wander the earth and realms of the go
ds, punishing people for their crimes no matter how large or small. Accidents happen, but if you were to turn a soul into a Fury, you’d undoubtedly be their first target.”

  I stared straight ahead, not really seeing the road as I thought about all the souls I’d come into contact with over the years, and the ones I blatantly turned away, simply because I didn’t want to deal with them. Had they found Hades, or turned into Furies?

  “But if I acknowledge the souls, they’ll never leave me alone. I can’t even date for crying out loud!”

  I slapped a hand to the steering wheel, more frustrated than I should’ve been, and saw Hades raise a questioning eyebrow.

  “You try being intimate with someone with an angry soul constantly bickering in the background or giving you unsolicited bits of advice mid-coital. I’ve completely lost it on three potential boyfriends and I’m pretty sure that I have at least one active restraining order in place for chasing my last partner down to tell him about his recently-deceased great-grandmother who had an urgent message for him about his health.”

  “I’m sorry.”

  “Why do I get the feeling there’s a ‘but’ attached to that statement?”

  “You can’t let the bad things stop you from doing good things for other people.”

  “Oh, geez. You sound just like a bumper sticker.” I pulled into the parking lot of Jake’s, unlocking the door. “Speaking of which, get out. I need to sleep, which means that I can’t have you around distracting me.”

  “Acknowledge the souls.”

  “Nope-not going to happen.”

  “Then I’m going to continue to pop up in your life to guide, assist and intervene when necessary. It’s my only option at this point, though I do wish you’d reconsider.” He stepped out. “I’ll be in touch.”

  “Why me? You’re going through an awful lot of trouble for someone you barely know.”

  He smiled, leaning against the doorframe. “Let’s just say that I’m doing a favor for my sister.”

  I pursed my lips. “You’re not going to explain that, are you?”