Before I Fell Read online

  “Not until you fulfill your calling and help me with the souls.”

  “Then I guess I’ll be waiting a long time.”

  “We’ll see.”

  I groaned in frustration as he walked towards the restaurant, eyes on my car as I turned down the street.

  Chapter Three

  “Pass the pepper, please.”

  Hades stood, laying his book down on the dining table as he grabbed the container. “You’ve been dodging my questions all afternoon, Emma.”

  “No,” I said, pointing the ladle at him. “I have nothing to say in response, which is different than avoiding the topic.”

  We both glanced across the living room towards a still-smoking pile of ashes and he sighed heavily, pouring himself a glass of wine.

  “If I hadn’t decided to stop by your place at just the right moment, that might be you.”

  I yanked plates from the cupboard, slamming the doors shut for good measure. “What do you want, huh? An apology? I’m sorry, Hades, for trying to protect myself, but I’m grateful that you saved my life. Oh yeah, and dinner is ready.”

  “Please be more careful in the future. That Fury came for you because you still refuse to acknowledge the spirit world, something I’ve told you, again and again, would happen and you didn’t believe me. This is the consequence.”

  “I just want to live my life, have a couple of decent friends, go to a museum without becoming part of the history, and maybe even get a boyfriend who I won’t have to hide things from. You know, normal stuff. Is that too much to ask?”

  “You’ve never been normal, Emma, so don’t start now.”

  “You know what I mean.”

  “I do,” he said, taking his plate as I sat opposite him. “And I would love to tell you that all of that is possible, but I won’t lie to you. Because of who you are and what you can do, nobody will ever understand you. Not like I do. I can help you if you’d let me.”

  “Oh, no, I know you want to, and I also know where I’d have to live for that to happen, but I’m not going to let some nasty-ass spirits uproot my life here. This is all I know, and where my family lives. Abandoning them because I have issues with things they can’t see isn’t fair.”

  “So, what do you want me to do, then? You’re the first person in over a thousand years who can see, hear and speak to the dead, but if you let them continue to use your energy like a rechargeable battery pack, you could be seriously hurt in the process. I’m asking you to trust me and trust that I have the answers to this problem, but I can’t keep coming to Portland. I have responsibilities in the Underworld.”

  I glared at him as he broke crackers into his soup, listening to the sound of the rain tapping against the living room windows and, very faintly, the moaning of several souls I knew waited in the parking lot, lined up like a firing squad.

  “According to Grandma, you love to make deals. That’s what you’re known for, right?”

  “Among other things, yes.”

  “So, if I wanted to make one with you, how does that work?”

  He set his spoon aside, folding his hands in front of him. “That depends. What do you propose?”

  “You want to help me, which is nice and all, but if I spent all my time around you I’d probably go insane. So, when you need to see me, let me know and I’ll try to make time for you. Otherwise, I want to try to deal with the souls my own way, same as I’ve always done.”

  “You’re making demands. I thought this was a negotiation.”

  “It is, which is why I’ll let you decide how long I stay each time. Deep down, Hades, you know that makes the most sense.”

  “If I were to agree to this deal-which I haven’t-I want a promise from you in return.”

  Uh-oh…I know where this is headed.

  “Which is…?”

  “That you’ll open yourself up to the souls who need to move on as I do.”

  “Awe, c’mon. You know why I don’t want to do that!”

  “Do it, and I’ll agree to your terms.”

  “All of them?”

  He nodded.

  Goodbye life, goodbye friends, goodbye potential Chris-Hemsworth-look-alike-boyfriend…

  “Fine.” I took a deep breath, centered myself and addressed the nearest soul. “I’ll agree to help you, but don’t take my energy,” I said, grimacing as he turned towards me, eyes pinning me to my chair with an intensity that took my breath away.

  My tiny apartment was suddenly annoyingly busy as soul after soul appeared, forming a line that stretched the length of the living room and down the hallway into my bedroom. I sighed, depositing my dishes in the sink as Bailey, my little Yorkie mix, skirted under the couch, trembling.

  Hades smiled and dipped the spoon into his bowl again. “The soup is good, by the way.”

  “I hate you so much right now.”

  He met my frustrated gaze as he licked a drop of liquid from his lip. “I know, and I’m sorry. But this is for the best.”

  I grabbed the loofah, squirting some soap onto it as I massaged it around my shoulders and neck, Pandora blaring in the background as I tried to block out the sound of two men arguing outside the bathroom door.

  “I need to talk to her!”

  “Hey, pal, I’ve been holding this line for an hour and a half-move to da back. Go on now, before I hurt ya.”

  “I wouldn’t be surprised if you were murdered in your sleep,” the first man mumbled, and I heard rusty laughter in response.

  “Close to it.”

  “Alexa, read Pieces of Me,” I said, waiting as the program found my book before leaning my forehead against the cold tile of the shower.

  I may have promised Hades that I would help the souls, but that didn’t include my bedroom or bathroom, and it sure as hell didn’t mean that I wanted to be pestered twenty-four-seven by angry, irritated people who didn’t understand the term ‘personal space.’ I almost threw my shields back up, but I knew that if I did that, I’d have an angry death god to deal with, and I’d already had enough of him to last me a lifetime.

  “I just wanted to take a shower,” I whispered, feeling tears prickling the corners of my eyes.

  “Can I join you?”

  “Ahh! What the hell, man?” I jerked the water off, reaching blindly for my towel as I tried to avert my eyes from the naked man standing behind me. “Don’t you have any clothes?”

  “Nope,” he said, mouth popping on the ‘p’. I flattened myself against the wall. “I sleep in the nude and, well, now I’m dead.”

  “Yes, I can see that, but why are here-specifically, in my shower?”

  “The spirits in the hall said that you’d be here, and this is kind of time-sensitive.”

  “There’s a line of people waiting to see me, and I highly doubt they’ll care for either of us if you cut it.”

  “You need to be careful,” he said, drawing lazily on the steamed-up glass. “Some of the people out there aren’t around because they need your help.”

  “And you know this because…?”

  “Oh, I listen. I’m actually a pretty nosy guy when I want to be.”

  “Well, thanks for the warning, but can I-?” I reached for the shower door and he stepped to the side. “Did you need me to send you somewhere, or resolve any issues?”

  “Not now, thanks. I’m mostly just wasting time before I jump into my next body.”

  I spun around, mouth flopping open. “I’m sorry, but did you just say what I think you did?”

  “Body jumping-eternal reincarnation-yup, that covers the basics.”

  “Does Hades know about you?”

  “Yeah, Mr. Fiery-Pants and I have seen each other a few times. Tell him I said ‘hi’. The name is Kyle, by the way. Kyle Matthews. It’s weird because I always end up named ‘Kyle’ unless I’m female, then it’s ‘Kylie’. Don’t ask me how that’s possible.”

  “It’s nice to meet you and all, but I think it’s time for you to get out of my bathroom.”

 
“Just think about what I said, yeah? About the souls? I know you’re new to this whole process, but if you’re not careful, they’ll try to take advantage of you. Right. Well, see you.”

  He disappeared, and I felt strangely unhinged, right on the edge of either hysteria or deep, unrelenting denial. I voted for the latter, trying to decide if it was worth it to contact Hades and tell him about Kyle or leave it be and hope that he found his way to wherever it is he needed to go.

  In the end, the choice was simple. I had so much to do and little time to do it in. Last time I counted, there were fifteen souls to help and one snarky, wayward individual wasn’t going to manipulate my alone time, dang it.

  “Chapter Two, The Great Unknown.”

  “Alexa, stop reading.”

  “Kyle came to see you.” Hades leaned back against the couch cushions as I slid a couple of books into my overnight bag.

  “Yeah, he did, and I didn’t tell you about it because I figured it wasn’t worth mentioning.”

  “He usually comes straight to me when he’s done with his current form, so I’m a little surprised that it didn’t happen this time. He must like you.”

  “Hades, there’s no way Furies can pretend to be new souls, right?”

  “Why would you ask-oh, no, what happened?”

  “Nothing yet. I was just thinking about something Kyle said.”

  He sighed, visibly relaxing. “No, they can’t. You would know.”

  “And are all the souls honest about why they’re coming to see me?”

  His eyes narrowed, taking in my bit lip, and the way I was nervously wrapping a piece of hair around my finger. “If you’re asking if they’re capable of lying-of course-they’re human, just like you.”

  “And, suppose that they weren’t Furies, but still wanted to hurt me. Is that possible, too?”

  He sighed. “Is it worth it to ask you, again, what happened? If nothing else than to stop this helpless feeling currently swirling through my gut? I’m not accustomed to it.”

  “You’ve never cared about someone else enough to worry about them?”

  “I’ve never had to, except once when Persephone visited my father in Tartarus. But that was more than a millennium ago.”

  “Kyle said that not all souls find me because they need help. Is that true?”

  “I think Kyle needs to watch what he tells you,” Hades said, stroking Bailey’s head in thought.

  “So, he’s right?”

  “Does it matter?”

  “Um, yes,” I said as he glanced up at me. “It’s dishonest and insulting to think that the only reason they’re bothering me is so they can, well, bother me. I’m not some side-show freak they can toy with. Yesterday, I had a little dead girl following me around the grocery store, and when I asked her-albeit in the women’s bathroom-what she wanted, she poofed into nothing and I haven’t seen her since.”

  “Did she have red, curly hair?”

  “Yes.”

  “That’s Emily,” he said, a smile lifting his lips as Bailey snuggled into his lap. “She came to me last night and I helped her move on.”

  “What the hell, Hades?”

  “Persephone helps with the souls on occasion, but it’s not good for her because she’s the goddess of Spring, and the dead would drain her. The fact that you’re another option for them is attractive.”

  “They don’t trust me.”

  “They don’t know you. You’ve had your walls up for so long that it’s going to take the spirit world a bit of time before they know that you’re not going to block them out again. Just be patient. Are you ready to leave?”

  I looped my arms through the bag, switching off the lights as I walked to the front door. “Yes, I am. Though just so we’re clear, one week of training in the Underworld, and you’ll bring me back afterward, right?”

  “I gave you my word, Emma, and I won’t break it.”

  “I’m going to some weird spirit-handling boot camp, and when I pass it with flying colors, you’ll let me return to Portland.”

  “Absolutely.”

  I eyed him for a minute. “I still can’t believe I’m actually going to do this.”

  He smiled. “Last month, you had no idea that we existed outside of books and stories. I understand if you’re nervous and confused, but your gifts originated from the gods, and there’s a reason you were chosen to help with the souls. I’m excited to discover why.”

  “I’m not a huge fan of tests,” I said as I locked the door behind us, balancing Bailey’s kennel in one hand as he took the bag from me. “And I won’t be as comfortable around the souls as you expect me to be.”

  “Is there anything else you wanted to get off your chest, or can we leave?”

  “No, no, I’m good. Where’s your car?”

  I scanned the parking lot as he rolled his eyes, hauling me up against his side. I fought for a second, objecting to being handled like a bundle, but he held me in place, stilling my motions.

  “Close your eyes.”

  “Why would I-”

  “Just do it, please.”

  I sighed, letting my eyelids droop, and a moment later he released me again, striding towards the edge of a massive living room, furniture clustered around an ornate stone fireplace as candles and plants dotted nearly every surface. It was quaint-well decorated-something I hadn’t expected to see in the Underworld.

  “I thought you’d never come back.” A woman entered the room, loose, rose-print dress flowing around her slender frame as he enthusiastically embraced her, kissing the top of her head before turning towards me.

  “Persephone, this is Emma. Emma, this is my wife, Persephone.”

  I took the hand she held out in greeting as I placed Bailey’s kennel on the flagstone floor and she smiled, bending over to look.

  “And who is this furry little girl? Can I hold her?”

  My likeability radar shot through the roof as I let my dog out, laughing along with Hades as Bailey barreled into Persephone’s arms like a miniature tornado. “Oh my goodness, she’s adorable! What’s her name?”

  “Bailey.”

  “I’m going to call her Bailey-kins, and she’s now my new best friend. Stay back, Alastair!” She snarled, throwing one hand out as her long curly brown hair fell around her shoulders.

  I heard the deep, rumbling growl before I saw the massive bloodhound inching his way into the room, amber-colored eyes flicking between Bailey and me.

  “Maybe it wasn’t such a great idea to bring her,” Hades said, threading a corded rope through Alastair’s collar.

  “There’s no way I was going to leave her behind, Hades. Besides, I don’t have many neighbors that I actually trust with her safety…or my belongings.”

  “Just keep her in your room when you can’t be with her, that’s all I ask. Alastair is not the only guard dog we have, though Titacus and Brom are, admittedly, a lot friendlier than their slightly older brother.”

  “I’ll bet she’s a fierce little creature when cornered,” Persephone said, cradling Bailey to her chest. “I’ll bet she could take the three of them any day.”

  “Yeah, so…” I watched as a woman and dog loved on each other, squashing the green-eyed monster of jealousy into a pancake. This would be good for Bailey to get some extra attention, and I was here to work. “I have about-rough estimate-five minutes before the souls find me again, so if you could point me in the direction of my room, that would be great.”

  “Sweetheart,” Hades said, stepping forward. “Would you please put the dog down and show Emma upstairs? I have to get back to the docks soon.”

  She met his eyes, and a sort of silent conversation seemed to flow between them. I shifted in place, admiring the artwork on the walls. After a minute, Persephone nodded and locked Bailey away, picking the kennel up in her arms as she gestured for me to follow her out.

  “So,” she said as she led me up a white marble staircase, “Hades tells me that you can communicate with the spirits as he can.
That must be-”

  “Annoying, confusing and scary?”

  “Interesting,” she corrected, standing in front of a set of double doors. “I’ve never met anyone, save Hades, who could do that. You must be pretty special.”

  “So he keeps telling me,” I muttered as she frowned, handing me my things.

  “He’s never willingly had an apprentice before, and all the times I’ve tried in the past have, well, failed.”

  “I’m only here for the week, and then I’ll be on my way back to Portland, so this is just a quick ‘here’s-how-to-deal-with-your-constant-ghostly-visitors’ lesson, nothing more.”

  “We’ll see. If you need anything, just let me know, alright? Otherwise, I guess I’ll see you in the morning for breakfast.”

  She left, and I pushed the doors open, jaw dropping when I saw the massive four-poster bed, built-in bookshelves with a little reading nook, honeycomb fireplace and attached ensuite bathroom, knowing that my entire apartment could fit in the bedroom alone.

  “We’re not in Kansas anymore,” I said, a hysterical bubble of laughter escaping my lips as I let Bailey out to sniff, setting up her food, water, and Potty Patch.

  I already missed my tiny apartment and bustling city but, in a way, this was good for me. I’d have someone to run to when the emotions of the souls around me became too much to bear, and a small, selfish part of me fervently hoped that they’d reattach themselves to Hades when they saw us together. It just made more sense. Why go to someone un-trained and mostly-unwilling, when you had the freaking lord of the dead at your disposal?

  Feeling optimistic, I helped Bailey onto the bed and crawled under the covers, watching the way firelight danced across the ceiling as I drifted into a deep and dreamless sleep.

  Chapter Four

  The Underworld

  I stared in frustration at the soul that stood in front of me, dripping salty ocean water onto the floor.

  “What do you want to ask him?” Hades said, circling us, and I shrugged.

  “I’ve already tried ‘is there anyone you need me to contact for you?’ and ‘you do know that you’re dead, right?’ but nothing seems to be working.”